5 Tricks to Take the Lead and Get What You Want (without being bossy or aggressive)

 If you’re a woman, you may not yet own your feminine assets that make you able to lead people (including men) with grace, humor and ease.  That’s why you ought to keep reading this short article that could change your ability to get what you want, without aggression, intimidation or assertiveness.

If you’re raised in the United States, you’ll be used to a top-down style of leadership. 

You see this in the military, where authority is determined by rank. That’s the way things run:  it’s how you know your place and who you report to.  Many American systems have adopted this style of leadership, schools for example.  The principal is leader, with all teachers answering to the principal.

With male heads of corporations as the norm, we unconsciously assume the male figure is the leader at work, as well.  In a recent study, women turned to the male figure in the room for instructions, based solely on gender.  This shows an unconscious assumption that “man” is in charge.

This pervasive leadership style filters into home life, where the bigger, taller, higher earning, male or any other assumption of leadership may cause the woman in the family to back down and fail to speak up about her desires, needs or wants.

Knowing this, here are 5 tricks to take your authority and get others to listen to your desires and outcomes you envision.

Trick #1  Only talk when you are calm.  Avoid bringing any emotional upset into the situation.  If you want a positive impact, keep your voice low and well-modulated.  Most men are extra-sensitive to women’s tones of voice, even if the woman herself is not aware of how she sounds.

Get your emotions in check before you address anything of significance.  Your calm will set the tone for the interaction.  You’ll take the lead through your calm, even keel, as the best leaders have learned.

Trick #2  Be clear about your desired outcome, before you start to talk.  If it’s not the right outcome, staying in rapport will enable you to discover this.  This way, at the point in which your conversation turns to a decision, you’ll be able to assert what you desire.  This leads me to my favorite saying, “Clarity is the most vital leadership tool.”

Trick #3  Set a time limit for your meeting.  People are busy, often with short attention spans. We may become impatient, especially men.  Women often enjoy socializing and build relationships through storytelling.  Within a agreed-upon, defined time limit, you know how much time you have for chit-chat or getting down to business.  This works well at home as well as professional settings.

Trick #4  Get enough movement and exercise. Your body is a strong broadcasting tower.  If you’re weak, lazy or tired, your signals will be weaker and less engaging to a male audience.  If you feel perky, peppy and energized, the men you talk to will pick up on these broadcasting signals and feel engaged.

Trick #5  Make sure you have plenty of time with girlfriends to talk out emotional issues, know what’s happening in the lives of your loved ones and have hobbies you’re devoted to. Thcis makes you a happy camper.  Not only will you feel more relaxed, you’ll never try to get your emotional needs met with a male colleague because you will be full of that good girlfriend nurturing already.  

As a happy camper, I suggest you bring an appropriate joke or two to any situation, to set the tone and take the lead.  People love to laugh and if you give them a giggle, they’ll give you their attention.

This is how I’ve been able to stay happy and lead from my softness, in every situation.  I never argue or overpower men, because I follow these tricks, above.  I’m sure you can achieve all your aspirations through these simple tricks, just as I have.